Job interview

Went for a job interview today and everything is smooth until the interviewer ask if i can OT on sat and sunday. I explained to her my situation and it is quite difficult for me to OT for some sat and every sunday. however, she is looking for someone who can OT anytime when needed. This, I am afraid I cant promise her.

Weekend is a chance for me to recharge and i dont want to lose the only chance to recharge, if not, i am afraid I will disappear myself which I am not willing to...

Roller coastal ride

Recently, my heart had been through alot of roller coastal ride, going up and down, left and right. Wow. How much more can I take it? Very unstable. not a good sign. Sometime really feel like pressing the reset button and reset my whole life again but it is impossible. Move on... Wenxiang. What past is past. No point thinking about it. Future is in front and not at the back. ok? feeling better now? haha... Really hope so. Going down is not bad after all as I will go up again. looking forwards... no worry!!! HEHE... Pardon me if I sound crazy... oops...

Graduation ceremony

The graduation ceremony is held on wed, 28 may 08. But why don't I feel excited about it? In fact, I don't feel like going.....

C camp planning

Early this year, hx wanted to opt for BZZ LY so hx decided to gave up camp planning. However, when hx told QY about this, she reminded hx not to neglect my family and personal growth. This really make hx think thrice. THanks to QY. After careful consideration, hx decided to go back to camp planning.

Last year, 4 JQs (including hx) from hx de shu opt for C camp planning. Therefore, hx was 'squeezed' out of C camp. This year, amazingly, no one want to opt C camp so hx opt for it. haha. no competition. Therefore, hx is in C camp planning now. yeah!

Think is Lao mu arrangement as this year C camp theme seems to speak to hx. hx had to be pushed to move forward and C camp aims to be proactive and be prepared to 'BAO EN'. QY is right to say that hx will learn alot from this camp. Fighting spirit is slowly but hopefully steadily coming back to me. Sole belief in Lao Mu is very important. I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky...

I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT...

Why do I feel so helpless?

I had never thought that I will create this blog and never thought that anyone will actually want to link me in their blog. A lot of things had happened and I had never thought of them. Didn't want to say too much but I really felt very helpless.
However, I can't treat it as nothing had happened. Don't want people to worry about me but seems that I had create a lot worries. Escaping is not the way to solve any problem but it seems that I am running away from it and afraid to face them.
Am I able to get over all this? I am not very sure. Don't like this feeling at all. I wanted to be in full control but I am not, in fact, I am being controlled by all the problems. I am not even sure that I am putting this up on the blog. if it was private, I won't hesitate but I am hesitating now. Haiz. Do I sound very negative? Ya, I know I do. Fengming TZ was correct, hx didn't 100% believe in Lao Mu. But how to be 100% believing in Lao Mu? What should hx do??? LMCB, please give hx the wisdom. Hx can't be in this state for long as it won't do any good but only harm...

Clearly me

Cleaning: Outside and In

When you feel upset, discouraged or out of control, do you feel the desire to clean? There's a deep connection between our personal environment and our innermost selves. Our senses reach deep, and those same senses also feel our surroundings. So is it possible that by shifting the arrangement of our belongings we can re-arrange the molecules of our emotional lives as well?
When our homes become cluttered and disordered, other aspects of our lives also tend to feel stuck. A cluttered home reflects a distracted and cluttered mind, and it also makes it hard to focus and think clearly. It gets easier to put on hold decisions that could put you back in control of your life. Eventually, we give up. The task seems overwhelming, and the clutter is so pervasive that we can't decide where to begin.
Clutter saps your energy and erodes your spirit. Clutter makes it difficult to get things done, enjoy peace and quiet, or spend time the way you really want to. It adds to your stress, slows you down and drains your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. Clutter makes you lose your focus, and that makes you lose your confidence and power as well.
On an energetic level, all this stuff is preventing a clear vision of self. Anything that is neglected, unwanted, or unappealing to you will drag your energy down every time you look at it. Even a beautiful object of great value does nothing for you or your home if you don't like it. So if you don't love it, get it out of sight.
Look around you. If you could only choose ten items to live with for the rest of your life, what would they be? When you're considering this question, ask yourself - What do they really do for you? Do they empower you? Are they motivating you to improve yourself?
Everything that surrounds you should be working for you in some way. If the things in your space are not supporting you and contributing to the positive quality of your life, it is time to do something about it!
The defeat, fatigue, and depression that you feel when you think about your clutter will start to evaporate as soon as you put yourself in action. The hard part is getting started, but once you do the magic will begin.
Clutter-clearing creates space for us to discover our true path in life and to define who we want to become. With this new vision we can consciously choose to surround ourselves with objects and imagery that reflect and support our authentic concept of self.